Quacktion Figure™ Friday: Homeopath

Do you feel constrained by physics, chemistry and biology? Does the idea of selling Tic Tacs at a 5,000% markup appeal to you? Want to be part of a billion-dollar-a-year industry that rivals Big Pharma^TM? Would you like to bang cups of water on a Bible to magically turn them into healing tonics?

Well, now you can. Harpocrates Speaks brings you Homeopath!

Homeopath

That's right. With Homeopath, you can kiss Avogadro's Limit goodbye! Got the flu? Not a problem for Homeopath. Just eviscerate a duck, drop a bit of its liver in some water, then dilute until only H₂O remains. Use the lever on back for magic succussing action to "potentize" your nostrum, then drip it on a sugar pill. Fend off critics with claims that water has memory, but somehow forgets all the poop it's touched. Sure your remedies don't do jack, but who can resist such a "sweet" personality?

Homeopath stands 5¾" tall and comes with:

• Eviscerated duck
• Flask
• Dropper
• Scalpel

Table not included. Legal thuggery expansion pack sold separately.

The Fine Print
Figure not actually for sale. Figure and text intended as a work of satire. Image copyright Todd W. and Lil Peck. Quacktion Figure™ is a trademark of Todd W. and Harpocrates Speaks.

Complete Quacktion Figure™ series